20 Unconventional Ways to Get Over a Guy [Must Try]

Key Takeaways:

Accept the relationship's end.
Give yourself time to heal.
Remove painful reminders quickly.
Focus on self-care and growth.
Reach out to your support system.

How do you get over a guy you loved?

When you've loved someone deeply, it feels like a part of you is missing once they're gone. You might feel overwhelmed with emotions—sadness, anger, confusion—wondering if you'll ever feel like yourself again. It's okay to grieve the loss, but it's crucial to remember that the end of the relationship doesn't define you.

The first step is to fully accept that the relationship is over. This might seem obvious, but denial is often our mind's way of protecting us from the immediate pain. Psychologists call this "cognitive dissonance," where part of you still hopes for reconciliation while the reality shows otherwise. By accepting the situation for what it is, you can start to release yourself from the emotional hold it has over you.

Next, remind yourself that getting over a guy you loved isn't a linear process. You may take two steps forward and one step back, and that's completely normal. We've all been there, and the key is to keep moving forward, no matter how small those steps feel.

Why breakups hurt more than we expect

Breakups always seem to hit harder than we think they will. One reason is that they don't just signify the end of a relationship; they often bring up feelings of rejection, abandonment, and even self-doubt. When someone leaves, it can feel like a reflection of our worth, even though that couldn't be further from the truth. The pain we feel during a breakup is more than just the loss of the person—it's the loss of the future we imagined with them.

From a psychological perspective, this is linked to what's known as "attachment theory." Humans are wired to form strong emotional bonds, especially in romantic relationships. When those bonds break, our brains experience it as a form of grief, which is why we sometimes feel like we've lost a part of ourselves.

It's also worth noting that breakups can trigger the same areas of the brain as physical pain. Studies show that heartbreak activates the pain centers in the brain, which is why it physically hurts to think about someone you've lost. But just like any injury, emotional wounds heal over time with the right care and attention.

How long will it take to get over a guy?

The question of how long it will take to get over a guy is one that has no clear-cut answer. It's different for everyone because we all process emotions at our own pace. Some people can bounce back in weeks, while others may take months—or even longer—to fully move on. And that's okay.

In psychology, we often talk about the “grief cycle.” Breakups can trigger the same stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. The time it takes to move through these stages varies for each of us. One important factor is the depth of the emotional connection you had with the person. The deeper the bond, the longer the recovery might feel.

Another thing to keep in mind is that healing isn't always linear. One day, you'll feel like you're doing great, and the next, a memory or a song might send you spiraling. That's normal! Don't rush yourself. The key is to keep moving forward, even on the tough days.

The psychology behind attachment and loss

To truly understand why it's hard to let go, we need to look at attachment. According to attachment theory, the emotional bonds we form with others, especially romantic partners, mirror the early bonds we formed with caregivers. These bonds offer us comfort, stability, and emotional security. So, when those bonds break, it feels destabilizing and can trigger feelings of insecurity or even panic.

There's also something called “separation distress.” This is the brain's natural reaction to the loss of an attachment figure. It's a biological response where the brain signals distress when a bond is severed. In fact, studies have shown that the same brain regions activated during physical pain are also activated when we experience emotional loss. That's why heartbreak can feel so overwhelming and consuming—it's not just in your head, it's in your body too.

But here's the silver lining: just like our brains can form attachments, they can also heal from loss. Over time, as you focus on yourself and rebuild your life, the emotional pain fades. It's part of our brain's incredible ability to adapt and move forward.

How to deal with intrusive thoughts about him

Intrusive thoughts about him can be some of the most frustrating parts of trying to move on. Whether it's replaying memories, imagining “what if” scenarios, or just having his face pop into your mind when you least expect it, it can feel like you're stuck in an endless loop. But here's the thing: you don't have to stay trapped in those thoughts.

Psychologists often recommend a practice called “thought-stopping.” When you notice an intrusive thought creeping in, you consciously interrupt it. It could be as simple as saying “no” to yourself and shifting your focus. Over time, your brain learns not to dwell on those thoughts as much. It's not about avoiding the memories; it's about not letting them control you.

Meditation and mindfulness can also help. By training your mind to stay in the present moment, you give less energy to those intrusive thoughts. It's a way of redirecting your focus toward the here and now rather than dwelling on the past.

Remember, the goal isn't to completely erase thoughts of him—because that's nearly impossible—but to manage them in a way that doesn't disrupt your healing process. Slowly, they'll start to lose their power over you.

Cutting off communication (why it's essential)

Let's be honest: cutting off communication feels brutal. Maybe you're tempted to check his social media, or maybe you think, “Just one text can't hurt.” But keeping those lines open is one of the biggest roadblocks to moving on. Why? Because it keeps you emotionally tethered to someone you need to let go of.

When we maintain contact after a breakup, we're holding onto hope, even if it's subconscious. That lingering hope prevents us from fully accepting that the relationship is over, and in many ways, it prolongs the emotional pain. You're keeping the wound open instead of allowing it to heal.

Research shows that no-contact periods are one of the most effective ways to emotionally detach from a partner. This time allows you to gain perspective, reset emotionally, and focus on your own needs. Whether that means unfollowing him on social media, blocking his number, or politely asking him not to contact you, those boundaries are necessary for your healing.

It's not about being cold or harsh; it's about protecting your mental health. You owe it to yourself to put distance between you and the past, no matter how difficult it feels in the moment.

20 ways to get over a guy

When it feels like you're drowning in heartbreak, you might wonder if there's any real way to move past it. There is. It won't happen overnight, but there are tangible steps you can take to speed up the healing process. Let's break it down into 20 ways to get over a guy:

Integrate the fact that the relationship is no longer viable. It's the hardest truth to face, but you have to accept that it's over before you can move forward.
Give yourself space and time to heal. Stop pressuring yourself to feel better right away. Healing happens on its own timeline.
Reach out to your friends. Lean on your support system. They'll remind you of who you are outside of the relationship.
Build structure into your days. Routines give your life stability, which is especially important when everything else feels out of control.
Replace negative thinking with positive thinking. Easier said than done, but catching yourself when you're spiraling into negativity can shift your mindset. Try gratitude journaling or affirmations.
Make a list of everything that annoyed you about him. Yes, it sounds petty, but this list will help remind you of the reasons why he wasn't perfect for you.
Be good to yourself. Whether it's a bubble bath or just getting enough sleep, self-care matters. Treat yourself as kindly as you would treat a close friend going through the same pain.
Cut off all communication. Don't text, don't call, don't stalk his Instagram. Go no-contact and focus on yourself.
Concrete ways to get over a guy. This includes simple, practical steps like cleaning out your closet, changing your routine, or blocking his number.
Stop talking about him. It's tempting to rehash every detail with your friends, but that keeps him at the center of your life. Shift your conversations to other topics.
Get distance. Both emotional and physical distance matter. If you can, avoid places you used to go together and give yourself room to breathe.
Delete his photos from your phone. Hanging on to these keeps you stuck in the past. Clearing out your digital space helps clear your emotional space too.
Box up anything that triggers painful memories. You don't have to throw everything away, but put those mementos out of sight. You can decide what to do with them later.
Clean your house. Decluttering your physical space can feel incredibly refreshing. A clean environment can symbolize a fresh start.
Analyze what led to the breakup. Without obsessing, take a step back and look at what went wrong. Understanding the “why” can give you closure.
Get active. Physical exercise releases endorphins, which help combat the sadness and stress of a breakup. Even a walk around the block can make a difference.
Eat clean. It's tempting to drown your feelings in junk food, but nourishing your body with healthy food will support your mental health too.
Get out there. Don't isolate yourself. Start small: meet a friend for coffee or go for a walk. You don't have to jump into the dating pool right away, but staying social helps.
Learn something new. Now's the time to pick up that hobby you've been curious about. Distraction is powerful, and learning can be a great way to reengage with life.
Date when you're ready. Don't rush it, but when you feel like yourself again, there's nothing wrong with dipping your toes back into the dating world. Just make sure you're doing it for the right reasons.

Steps to rebuild your life after a breakup

Once the dust has settled from the emotional storm of a breakup, it's time to start rebuilding your life. Think of it as a fresh start, not just a recovery process. Breakups often leave a void, but that empty space can be filled with new experiences, new perspectives, and a stronger version of you.

First, start by reconnecting with the things that brought you joy before the relationship. Maybe it's a hobby you neglected, or friends you drifted away from. Bring those pieces back into your life. This isn't just about distraction—it's about rediscovering who you are outside of the relationship.

Next, set small goals. They don't have to be massive life-changing things, but creating goals like learning a new skill, getting fit, or simply organizing your space can bring a sense of accomplishment. These achievements boost your confidence, reminding you that life is still full of potential.

It's also important to allow yourself to feel whatever comes up during this time. Sadness, anger, relief, confusion—it's all part of the process. Don't rush yourself to “get over it.” Instead, focus on one day at a time, and remember that every step forward, no matter how small, is progress.

Finally, take this time to reflect on what you want for your future. Your goals, dreams, and even your boundaries in relationships might have shifted. Embrace this new chapter and trust that you're building a stronger, wiser version of yourself moving forward.

Reframe the relationship: Was he really the right guy?

It's easy to look back on the relationship with rose-colored glasses, only remembering the good times and idealizing him in your mind. But here's the truth: no relationship is perfect, and neither was he. Reframing the relationship helps you gain perspective, allowing you to see things as they truly were.

Ask yourself: was he really the right guy for you, or were you holding onto the idea of who you wanted him to be? It's common for us to overlook red flags or ignore signs that the relationship wasn't a good fit because we want it to work so badly. But now that it's over, it's time to see things clearly.

Consider the ways in which you might have compromised or sacrificed parts of yourself to make the relationship work. Were your needs really being met? Did he support your goals, your happiness, and your growth? Often, when we step back and analyze the reality of the relationship, we realize it wasn't as perfect as we thought.

By reframing the relationship in this way, you're not just letting go of the guy—you're also letting go of the false narratives you've been holding onto. This process gives you the clarity to move forward and to look for someone who aligns better with the person you've become.

How to handle moments of weakness and loneliness

There will be times when the loneliness feels unbearable, and you'll want to reach out to him—just for some kind of comfort, some connection. These moments of weakness are normal and expected, but they don't have to control your actions. Remember, you're stronger than these fleeting urges.

First, it's important to acknowledge that feeling lonely is part of the healing process. You're not weak for missing him; it's a natural reaction when a major part of your life disappears. But instead of giving in to the temptation to text or call him, find healthier outlets. Reach out to a trusted friend, journal your feelings, or even cry if you need to. Letting those emotions out in a healthy way will help you regain control.

Sometimes, creating a “game plan” for these moments helps. For example, you could write down a list of distractions—like watching your favorite movie, going for a run, or cooking a new recipe—so that when the urge hits, you have a plan to follow. You'll thank yourself later for not giving in.

And when it feels like too much, remind yourself that these emotions are temporary. Loneliness comes in waves, and just like a wave, it will pass. Stay strong through those tough moments, and each time you do, you'll come out on the other side even more resilient.

Give yourself space and time to heal

We live in a culture of instant gratification, where everything feels rushed—even healing. But heartbreak doesn't work on anyone's schedule. You can't force yourself to get over someone just because you think you should. The truth is, healing takes time, and it's not something you can speed up.

Giving yourself space to grieve is one of the most important parts of the process. That might mean taking time away from dating, staying off social media, or even just spending more time alone to process your feelings. It's not about isolating yourself but about allowing your emotions to breathe without judgment.

Don't fall into the trap of comparing your healing journey to someone else's. We all heal at different rates, and there's no “right” way to do it. Some people seem to bounce back quickly, but that doesn't mean their emotions run any deeper than yours. It just means they cope differently.

Healing isn't a race, and there's no deadline to meet. Be gentle with yourself, and remember that each day, no matter how small it feels, brings you one step closer to feeling whole again. Trust that, in time, your heart will mend, and you'll emerge stronger on the other side.

Get distance: physically and emotionally

One of the hardest parts of moving on is creating the necessary distance from someone who was once so close to you. It feels unnatural to cut someone off who, not long ago, was part of your daily life. But in reality, maintaining distance is essential to healing. Without that space—both physical and emotional—you're keeping the door open for more pain.

Physically, this means avoiding places where you know you might bump into him. Don't visit the coffee shop you always went to together or the park where you used to have long talks. These places can stir up old feelings and make it harder to move forward. If necessary, even consider changing your routine or finding new spots to frequent. It might seem extreme, but the emotional payoff is worth it.

Emotionally, the distance is just as important. This involves setting firm boundaries in your mind. Stop romanticizing the past and avoid replaying every memory on a loop. Every time your thoughts drift back to him, gently remind yourself that this chapter is over, and refocus your energy on the present.

Getting distance isn't about being cold or heartless. It's about giving yourself the mental and emotional space you need to heal. Over time, the need for distance will diminish naturally as your heart begins to let go.

Reach out to your friends for support

Your friends are your lifeline during a breakup, even if it doesn't always feel that way. After all, it's easy to isolate yourself when you're in pain, thinking that no one can truly understand what you're going through. But pushing your friends away is the last thing you should do.

When you reach out to your friends, you're not just getting advice or someone to vent to—you're reconnecting with the parts of your life that existed long before the breakup. Friends remind you of who you are outside of the relationship. They remind you of your worth, your humor, and all the little things that make you, well, you.

Plus, having a support system in place can be a buffer for those moments of loneliness. Even just spending time with a close friend, talking about anything other than the breakup, can be healing. Laughter, connection, and shared experiences create new memories, slowly pushing the old ones into the background.

And don't be afraid to lean on them. Good friends want to be there for you, and they understand that healing takes time. They'll give you the space you need while also pulling you out of your shell when they see you retreating too much. In many ways, they become the anchors that keep you grounded when emotions are all over the place.

Be good to yourself (self-care and healing)

After a breakup, we often become our own worst enemies. It's easy to fall into the trap of self-blame, feeling like we didn't do enough, or questioning our worth. But now, more than ever, it's crucial to be good to yourself. Self-care isn't just about pampering—it's about nurturing your emotional, physical, and mental well-being during a vulnerable time.

Start small. Something as simple as taking a long walk, getting a full night's sleep, or indulging in a hobby you love can help restore balance to your life. When you take care of your body, it sends signals to your mind that you're prioritizing your well-being. This is how healing begins—by reminding yourself, day by day, that you deserve kindness, especially from yourself.

Don't underestimate the power of routine self-care practices. Meditation, exercise, journaling, or even a quiet cup of tea in the morning can provide a sense of stability. These moments give you the space to breathe, to reconnect with yourself, and to step outside the emotional whirlwind of the breakup.

Be patient. Healing isn't linear, and some days will be harder than others. On those rough days, show yourself the same compassion you would offer a close friend. Remember, you're doing the best you can, and every small step counts.

Replace negative thinking with positive habits

Negative thoughts are like quicksand—they pull you down, making it hard to see beyond the pain. During a breakup, it's all too common to spiral into thoughts of self-doubt, regret, or anger. But while you can't always control when these thoughts appear, you can control how you respond to them.

One effective way to combat negative thinking is to replace it with positive habits. This doesn't mean pretending everything is fine or forcing yourself to be happy. Instead, it's about shifting your mindset in a way that promotes growth rather than dwelling on what's lost.

For instance, instead of replaying old arguments in your head, focus on a goal that excites you—whether that's learning a new skill, focusing on your career, or improving your health. These goals serve as positive distractions, helping you build a new sense of purpose beyond the relationship.

Another tool is practicing gratitude. It might sound cliché, but taking a few moments each day to write down what you're grateful for shifts your attention away from the negativity and towards the good in your life. Even on tough days, finding something small—like a sunny day or a good conversation with a friend—can help reshape your perspective.

By actively engaging in positive habits, you're retraining your mind. Over time, the negative thoughts lose their grip, and you start to focus more on the possibilities ahead rather than the pain behind.

Box up triggers: remove painful reminders

When you're trying to get over a guy, sometimes the smallest thing can throw you back into a spiral of emotions. A picture on your phone, an old sweater, or even a song that plays on the radio—all of these can trigger painful memories. The best way to protect your emotional well-being is to create distance by removing these triggers from your daily life.

This doesn't mean you need to throw everything out (though for some people, that might be exactly what they need). A more practical approach is to box up items that remind you of him and put them out of sight. This can be anything from gifts he gave you, to photos, to sentimental objects that bring up feelings of loss. By physically removing these items, you're creating an emotional boundary.

It's not just about avoiding the pain but allowing yourself the mental space to heal without constant reminders of the past. You can always decide later what to do with these things, but for now, out of sight, out of mind.

Remember, this isn't about erasing the relationship or pretending it never happened—it's about giving yourself the peace and clarity needed to move on.

Concrete ways to get over a guy

Sometimes, abstract advice about healing and letting go doesn't feel enough. You want real, actionable steps to start moving on. Here are some concrete ways to help you get over a guy:

Change your environment. Rearrange your living space, redecorate, or even move things around to create a new vibe. It's a small but powerful way to reclaim your space as yours.
Clean out your phone. Delete old texts, photos, and any other digital memories that bring up emotions. Clearing out your phone is like clearing out mental clutter.
Focus on self-improvement. This is your time to dive into personal growth. Whether it's taking up a new hobby, reading more books, or working on fitness, shifting focus to bettering yourself helps rebuild your identity.
Set new boundaries. If you're in any form of contact with him—whether that's through social media or mutual friends—set clear boundaries. Unfollow him, mute notifications, or let mutual friends know that you need some space.
Surround yourself with positivity. Be intentional about the people and activities you let into your life. Positive friendships, uplifting environments, and productive hobbies can help shift your emotional state.

These small, concrete actions create momentum. Each time you take a step to distance yourself from the past, you're moving closer to healing.

How do you stop thinking about a guy who is not interested?

It's frustrating, isn't it? You know he's not interested, yet your mind keeps bringing him up as if there's still hope. These thoughts can feel relentless, but the good news is, you're not powerless over them. Here's how to start loosening their grip on your mind.

First, stop romanticizing him. When someone is unavailable, we tend to build them up in our heads, imagining them to be more perfect than they really are. Take a step back and think about the reality of who he is, not the fantasy version you've created. Ask yourself: Is this someone who really made you feel valued and appreciated?

Next, redirect your focus. Every time you catch yourself thinking about him, consciously shift your attention to something else. Whether it's a project you're working on, a new hobby, or even a TV show, redirecting your focus weakens the mental hold he has over you. It's not about suppressing the thought—it's about training your brain to prioritize other things.

Finally, practice self-compassion. You might be hard on yourself for still thinking about someone who isn't interested, but beating yourself up only deepens the emotional attachment. Instead, remind yourself that it's human to have these feelings, and over time, they will fade. Healing takes time, and you deserve patience and understanding along the way.

Recommended Resources

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends by Bruce Fisher
Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender by David R. Hawkins

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