18 Clear Signs Your Ex Will Come Back (Sooner Than You Think)

Key Takeaways:

• Signs your ex still cares.
• They might come back soon.
• Analyze their recent behavior.
• Understand why you're hopeful.
• Take a proactive approach.

Why are you asking if your ex will come back?

Breakups are tough. But sometimes, it's not the end. You find yourself scrolling through old texts, analyzing every interaction, and asking yourself one burning question: will my ex come back? If you're here, you're likely searching for signs that there's still hope. Maybe the relationship ended abruptly, or perhaps it just didn't feel like the final chapter. Either way, the idea of getting back together is one you can't shake.

It's normal to wonder, especially if you believe that things didn't end the way they were supposed to. The truth is, relationships are complex, and breakups can be just as confusing. You might be holding onto the memories, the good times, and the words left unsaid. But before you let hope guide you, it's important to look at the situation with clear eyes and an understanding of the signs that might indicate a reunion is on the horizon.

In this article, we're going to break down the clues that suggest your ex may not be as done as you think. We'll dive into the psychology behind these signs and help you decide whether it's worth waiting for them or if it's time to move on.

You broke up in the heat of the moment

It happens to the best of us. Emotions run high, words are said that can't be taken back, and before you know it, the relationship you valued is over. But was it really supposed to end that way? Breaking up in the heat of the moment often leaves both parties feeling like there's unfinished business. When a breakup is driven by a spur-of-the-moment argument rather than deeper, unresolved issues, there's a good chance it wasn't meant to be permanent.

In the midst of anger or hurt, we sometimes make decisions we regret. Your ex might be feeling the same way, looking back and realizing that the breakup was more about the heat of the moment than a real desire to end things. As psychologist Dr. John Gottman points out, “Couples who are able to repair after conflict are more likely to stay together.” This could be your situation. If the breakup was more of an emotional reaction than a rational decision, it's possible that reconciliation is just a conversation away.

Pay attention to how both of you have acted since that fateful moment. If there's been contact, whether through texts or mutual friends, it could be a sign that neither of you is truly ready to let go.

They didn't cut you out of their life completely

When a breakup is truly final, the most common reaction is to sever ties, cut off communication, and start moving on. But if your ex hasn't completely cut you out of their life, that's a significant sign. Whether they're still following you on social media, reaching out from time to time, or haven't blocked your number, these are subtle hints that they might not be ready to let go. When someone is done, they typically make it clear by creating distance—emotionally and physically.

However, when that connection lingers, it could be because they're not fully committed to the breakup. They may still care about you, and part of them might be hoping for a second chance. It's this in-between space that leaves the door open for possibilities. As relationship expert Esther Perel once said, “Closure is a myth. There's always an open door, even if it's just a crack.” Your ex's reluctance to completely shut you out might just be that crack in the door.

They've done this before

If this isn't the first time you've broken up, and your ex has come back before, it's worth considering that this might be another one of those cycles. Some relationships are just like that—full of ups and downs, with breakups that never seem to stick. It's a pattern that's frustrating, but also telling. If they've returned to you in the past, there's a good chance they might do it again.

On-again, off-again relationships can be exhausting, but they also speak to a certain level of attachment and connection that's hard to shake. Psychologists suggest that these cycles can be a sign of unresolved issues that keep pulling you back together. If your relationship history includes multiple breakups and reunions, it's possible that this time is no different. The key here is to ask yourself why this cycle continues. Are there unresolved emotions or issues that keep drawing you both back in? Or is it simply that neither of you can truly move on?

Understanding the underlying reasons can help you determine whether getting back together is the right move or if it's time to finally break the cycle.

They often told you you're the one

Throughout your relationship, did your ex frequently express that you were “the one” for them? If so, those words weren't just a fleeting sentiment; they were a reflection of how they truly felt. When someone tells you that you're the person they see their future with, it's not easy for them to just walk away from that. Those words hold weight, and they often linger in the back of their mind long after the breakup.

If your ex often spoke about your future together, or if they mentioned how you were different from everyone else they've been with, it's a sign that their feelings ran deep. Even if they ended things, those emotions don't simply disappear. They may still be grappling with the idea of losing what they once considered their future. Relationship experts often emphasize that when someone has genuinely believed in the idea of “forever” with you, it's hard for them to fully move on.

That connection, those dreams they shared with you, might be enough to make them reconsider the breakup and start thinking about what it would take to make things work again.

They haven't been dating anyone else

After a breakup, many people dive back into the dating pool to help themselves move on. But if your ex hasn't been dating anyone else, it could be a sign that they're not ready to move on from you. When someone is truly done with a relationship, they often seek out new connections as a way to heal and forget. However, if your ex is staying single, it might be because they're still holding onto the possibility of getting back together.

Staying single after a breakup isn't just about healing—it can also be a sign of waiting. If they're not interested in pursuing other relationships, it could be because they're not ready to let go of what you had. Maybe they're still processing the breakup, or perhaps they're hoping that time apart will lead to a reunion. This can be especially telling if they've had opportunities to date but have chosen not to.

In some cases, staying single might also be a way for them to show you that they're still committed to what you both had. It's their way of leaving the door open, indicating that they're not done with the idea of “us” just yet.

If they're dating, nothing lasts

On the flip side, if your ex has been dating since the breakup but none of their relationships seem to last, it could be a sign that they're struggling to move on. When someone is truly over their ex, they're usually able to find new connections that have the potential to grow into something more. However, if your ex keeps jumping from one short-lived relationship to another, it might be because they're not fully invested in these new people.

This behavior often indicates that they're comparing everyone they meet to you, and so far, no one else measures up. It's almost as if they're searching for something that they already had with you but can't seem to find elsewhere. This kind of pattern suggests that they're not ready to let go of the past, even if they're trying to move forward. They might be dating to distract themselves, but deep down, they're still hung up on what they lost.

Consider how their dating behavior reflects their feelings. If they're unable to commit to anyone new, it could be because they're not ready to close the chapter on your relationship.

They keep talking about you

Have you heard from mutual friends that your ex keeps bringing you up in conversations? This is a classic sign that they're not over you. When someone is truly done with a relationship, they usually avoid talking about their ex as a way to move on. But if your name keeps coming up, it's a strong indicator that you're still on their mind.

Talking about you—whether it's reminiscing about good times or even discussing the reasons things didn't work out—shows that they're processing the relationship and haven't fully let go. They might be doing this consciously or subconsciously, but either way, it points to the fact that you still hold a significant place in their thoughts. When someone keeps talking about their ex, it often means they're not ready to let go of the connection entirely.

In some cases, they might be testing the waters, trying to gauge how you're feeling through the grapevine. If they're still talking about you, it's because you still matter to them, and that could be the first step toward a potential reconciliation.

They look at you with longing in their eyes

Sometimes, actions speak louder than words. If you've had any face-to-face encounters with your ex since the breakup, pay close attention to the way they look at you. A person's eyes can reveal a lot about their emotions, even when they're trying to hide them. If you catch them gazing at you with that familiar look of longing, it's a sign that their feelings for you haven't faded.

It's not just about eye contact—it's about the depth of it. That soft, lingering look, as if they're seeing the person they miss and still care about, can be incredibly telling. It's as though they're trying to convey all the words they can't say. If their gaze lingers on you, full of emotion and nostalgia, it's likely they're still holding onto the hope of rekindling the relationship.

Body language experts often point out that the eyes are one of the most honest parts of the human body. While words can be controlled, the eyes often betray true feelings. So if you've noticed your ex looking at you in this way, it's a powerful indicator that they might not be over you.

They have sent at least one "I miss you" text

Few things are as straightforward as a message that says, “I miss you.” If your ex has reached out with a text like this, it's a clear sign that they're not ready to let go. While some people might send such a message out of loneliness or curiosity, more often than not, it's an indication of lingering feelings. They might be testing the waters, seeing how you'll respond, or simply expressing the emotions they've been struggling to contain.

When someone sends an “I miss you” text, they're opening the door to communication, letting you know that they're still thinking about you. It's a vulnerable admission that shows they're not as over the relationship as they might have initially appeared. This kind of message is their way of reaching out, possibly in the hopes that you're feeling the same way and that the breakup wasn't as final as it seemed.

These texts often come at moments when they're feeling particularly nostalgic or lonely, but they can also be a sign that they're ready to talk about the possibility of getting back together. Pay attention to the timing and frequency of these messages—they can reveal a lot about what your ex is really thinking.

They reminisce a lot

Reminiscing about the past is a strong sign that your ex is still emotionally attached. If they keep bringing up old memories, talking about the good times you shared, or even referencing inside jokes, it's a clear indication that they're not ready to let go. When someone is trying to move on, they usually avoid revisiting the past because it can be painful. But when your ex constantly reminisces, it shows that they're holding onto those memories because they still mean something to them.

These trips down memory lane might come up in conversations directly with you, or you might hear about them through mutual friends. Either way, it's a sign that your ex is still emotionally invested in what you had together. It's their way of keeping those memories alive, perhaps hoping that you'll feel the same nostalgia and consider giving the relationship another shot.

Reminiscing is often tied to unresolved feelings. When your ex keeps revisiting the past, it's because they're not done processing those emotions, and they might be using those memories as a way to reconnect with you, even if just mentally.

They try to catch your attention

Have you noticed that your ex is suddenly more active on social media, posting more frequently, or even showing up at places they know you'll be? These actions are often deliberate attempts to catch your attention. It's their way of staying on your radar, making sure you haven't forgotten about them, and perhaps even sparking a reaction from you.

People often go out of their way to be noticed when they're not ready to let go of someone. Whether it's through indirect means like social media posts that seem a little too perfectly timed or more direct methods like running into you “accidentally,” these are all signs that your ex still wants to be a part of your life, even if it's in a small way.

This behavior is usually driven by a mix of emotions—loneliness, hope, and a desire to reconnect. By trying to catch your attention, your ex is signaling that they're not done with the relationship and might be hoping that you'll pick up on the cues and reach out to them.

They're still there to the rescue

Even after a breakup, if your ex is quick to come to your aid whenever you need help, it's a strong indicator that they still care deeply about you. Whether it's something as small as fixing a broken appliance or offering emotional support during a tough time, their willingness to be there for you speaks volumes about their lingering feelings. Most people, once a relationship ends, try to distance themselves and focus on their own lives. But if your ex is still playing the role of a rescuer, it's a clear sign they're not ready to sever ties completely.

This behavior often comes from a place of love and attachment. They might be trying to show you that they still care, or they could be hoping that by being there for you, they can maintain a connection that might lead to reconciliation. It's important to pay attention to how they respond when you're in need. If they're consistently stepping up to help, it's because they haven't let go of their role in your life just yet.

It's also worth considering how this dynamic affects your feelings. Are you leaning on them because you still see them as an important part of your life? This mutual dependence can sometimes keep the door open for getting back together.

They're not friends with any of their exes

People handle breakups differently, and while some maintain friendships with their exes, others cut ties completely. If your ex falls into the latter category and has no history of staying friends with their past partners, but they're still in contact with you, that's a significant sign. It means that your relationship was different, more meaningful, and perhaps not as easily replaceable.

When someone doesn't stay friends with their exes, it often indicates that they prefer a clean break. However, if they're making an exception for you, it shows that you hold a unique place in their heart. This could be because they're not ready to fully move on, or they feel that what you had together was too special to simply walk away from.

It's a sign that they still see potential in the relationship, even if they haven't openly expressed it. By staying connected with you, they might be keeping the possibility of getting back together alive, even if they're not consciously aware of it. It's this exception that speaks to the depth of their feelings and the unresolved nature of your breakup.

They try to know if you're dating someone new

When an ex is still curious about your love life, it's a clear sign that they're not over you. If they're asking mutual friends whether you're seeing someone new, or subtly checking your social media for clues, it's because they still care about what you're up to. This curiosity often stems from lingering feelings and a fear of losing you to someone else. They might not openly ask you directly, but the fact that they're trying to gather information about your dating life indicates that they're still emotionally invested.

This behavior is usually driven by jealousy or concern, and it often reveals that they're not as ready to move on as they might have appeared. Knowing that you're with someone new could be the push they need to reconsider the breakup, especially if they realize they're not ready to see you with another person.

If your ex is going out of their way to find out if you're dating, it's a strong indicator that they're not ready to let go. They might be hoping that you're still single, just like them, which could leave the door open for reconciliation.

They check on you

When your ex reaches out to see how you're doing, especially if it's more than just a casual check-in, it's a sign that they still care about you. Whether it's through a text, a phone call, or even a message passed through mutual friends, their concern for your well-being shows that you still matter to them. Checking on you might be their way of staying connected, ensuring that you're okay, and subtly letting you know that they haven't forgotten about you.

This type of behavior often comes from a place of unresolved feelings. They might be checking on you because they're worried about how you're handling the breakup, or they could be looking for an excuse to keep the lines of communication open. It's their way of staying present in your life, even if they're not ready to admit that they want to be more than just a concerned ex.

When someone checks on you after a breakup, it's often because they're not ready to fully close that chapter of their life. They might be hoping that you'll open up to them, which could lead to deeper conversations about where things went wrong and whether there's a possibility of making things right again.

You keep bumping into them

If you find yourself constantly running into your ex, it might not be as accidental as it seems. Whether it's at a favorite coffee shop, a mutual friend's gathering, or even just around town, these “coincidences” could be a sign that they're not ready to let you go. Sometimes, people subconsciously (or consciously) place themselves in situations where they're likely to see their ex, just to keep that connection alive, even if it's unspoken.

These repeated encounters could be their way of testing the waters, gauging your reaction, and seeing if there's still a spark between you. It's their way of staying in your orbit, ensuring they're still a part of your life, even if it's in small, unexpected ways. The fact that they're showing up in places they know you'll be suggests that they're not ready to completely let you out of their life.

So, the next time you bump into them, consider whether it's truly a coincidence or if they might be hoping for a chance to reconnect, even if they're not saying it out loud.

They didn't remove your photos on social media

Social media often becomes the first place where people erase traces of a past relationship. But if your ex has kept your photos up, it's a sign that they're not ready to erase the memories. Keeping those pictures online, where they and others can see them, indicates that they still cherish the moments you shared and might not be fully prepared to move on.

This decision to keep your photos isn't just about sentimentality; it's also about maintaining a connection. By not deleting those visual reminders of your time together, they're signaling that they're not done with the relationship. It's a way of holding onto the past and maybe even sending a message that they're open to rekindling what you had.

In a world where deleting photos can feel like closing a chapter, leaving them up suggests that they're leaving the book open. They might not be actively pursuing reconciliation, but they're also not slamming the door shut. This small, seemingly insignificant action speaks to the larger truth that they're not fully over you and might be hoping for another chance.

Top 5 Signs You'll Get Back Together

1. They keep reaching out: Frequent contact shows they're not ready to move on.
2. They express regret: Apologies or admissions of missing you signal unresolved feelings.
3. They haven't moved on: No serious dating since the breakup often means they're holding out hope.
4. They keep your photos: Holding onto memories suggests they're not over you.
5. They talk about the future: Mentioning potential plans together shows they're considering reconciliation.

Conclusion: What should you do next?

So, what does all this mean for you? If you've noticed many of these signs in your ex, it's possible that they're not ready to let go and might be open to getting back together. However, before making any decisions, it's important to reflect on your own feelings and the reasons for the breakup. Do you truly want to rekindle the relationship, or are you holding onto the past out of comfort or fear of being alone?

Getting back together isn't just about whether your ex wants to—it's about whether it's the right choice for both of you. Consider whether the issues that led to the breakup have been addressed and whether both of you are willing to work on them. If you do decide to give it another try, approach the relationship with clear communication and a commitment to resolving past problems.

Ultimately, the decision is yours. Listen to your heart, but also use your head. Sometimes, letting go is the healthiest option, even if it's the hardest. But if you believe that your relationship deserves another chance and both of you are on the same page, it might be worth exploring what a future together could look like.

Recommended Resources

• Perel, Esther. Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence. Harper, 2007.
• Gottman, John M., and Nan Silver. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Harmony, 1999.
• Brown, Brené. The Gifts of Imperfection. Hazelden, 2010.