If Your Boyfriend Hits You: 5 Steps to Take (Now!)

1. Immediate Safety Comes First: The Harsh Reality

There's no sugarcoating it: if your boyfriend hits you, you're in a situation that warrants immediate attention. Domestic violence, which encompasses any form of abuse within a relationship, is a global pandemic. It can manifest in different forms, including but not limited to, physical assault, verbal abuse, psychological manipulation, and sexual coercion. If you've been hit, it's important to know that you are not alone and it is not your fault.

What you're going through is a deeply personal and painful experience, and no one should have to endure such treatment. Unfortunately, domestic violence persists, often leaving victims feeling trapped and confused about what to do. It's essential to know that there are concrete steps you can take to protect yourself and seek help.

In the immediate aftermath of violence, your first priority should be to ensure your safety. If you're in immediate danger, call your local law enforcement or emergency number. There's no shame in reporting domestic violence. The police are there to protect you, and pressing charges can be a vital step toward holding the abuser accountable. If you're unable to call for help, consider reaching out to a trusted friend, family member, or neighbor who can help you.

2. Building a Support Network: You're Not Alone

Many victims of domestic violence feel isolated, but it's important to remember that you're not alone. There's an array of support networks available to you, from national hotlines to local shelters, counseling services, and more. Reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, for instance, which provides 24/7 assistance, advice, and emotional support to those in need.

However, building a support network isn't solely about seeking help from organizations or professionals. It's also about connecting with friends and family members who can provide emotional support and practical assistance. You might feel embarrassed or afraid to share what's happening, but those who truly care about you will want to support you in any way they can.

It's also essential to seek professional counseling if you can. Trauma from domestic violence can have lasting psychological impacts, and trained professionals can provide the tools and strategies you need to heal.

3. Legal Protections and Rights: Knowledge Is Power

Being informed about your legal rights and protections can empower you in your journey towards safety. In most jurisdictions, laws against domestic violence provide various protections, including orders of protection or restraining orders. These legal tools can offer an added layer of security, making it illegal for your abuser to approach you, your home, or your workplace.

To navigate the legal system, consider seeking the assistance of a legal advocate or lawyer who specializes in domestic violence. They can guide you through the complexities of the law, ensure your rights are upheld, and provide representation in court if necessary.

4. Crafting a Safety Plan: Preparing for the Unexpected

Having a safety plan in place is a proactive step towards securing your wellbeing. It's a personalized, practical guide that includes ways to remain safe while in an abusive relationship, planning to leave, or after you leave. A well-crafted safety plan takes into account your unique circumstances and needs.

The specifics of your safety plan will depend on your personal situation, but common elements might include a list of emergency contacts, a predetermined safe place to go if you need to leave home quickly, copies of important documents, and essential items packed in an 'emergency bag'.

You can work with domestic violence organizations or advocates to create a comprehensive safety plan that caters to your specific needs.

5. Investing in Self-Care: Rebuilding and Healing

In the midst of the turmoil that comes with an abusive relationship, it's easy to overlook self-care. However, prioritizing your mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing is vital. Self-care activities may include maintaining a balanced diet, engaging in regular physical activity, practicing mindfulness or meditation, attending counseling sessions, or simply taking time each day to relax and do something you enjoy.

Moving on from an abusive relationship is a process, not an event. It takes time to heal, and it's okay to seek help along the way. You deserve to live a life free from violence, fear, and control.

Domestic violence is a grave issue, and it's important to confront it head-on. If your boyfriend hits you, prioritize your safety, build a support network, understand your legal rights, prepare a safety plan, and invest in self-care. It's a difficult journey, but with these steps, you can navigate your way towards safety, support, and eventually, healing.